Memories of Bilston
The Battle Wagon
by Geoff Roberts
We were young
then, my recollection was about 10 years old. My twin brother and I were at
Villiers’ and Mike was at Etheridge. Little did we know that we were to be
despatched to boarding school in little more than a year after the trials of the
eleven plus, but of course that was a lifetime away and all that mattered was
the present or at most, the end of the week. We were inseparable and shared
everything; sweets, pets of the moment, jokes, stories, experiences and much
more including an event I vividly remember when we attempted to eat a whole 4 lb
can of shredded pineapple. The results were predictable and colourful!
Naturally
enough at that age girls were objects of curiosity at best, derision at worst
but mostly we didn’t take any notice of them and to my recollection they
didn’t take too much notice of us either although we did get involved in the
girlie games particularly at birthday parties. No doubt it was just the start of
what was to become a rather more focussed agenda later in life!!
Now we, the
gang of three, would try most things for a dare. The usual things come to mind
such as ringing door bells and running away, scrumping apples, looking through
any window we could gain access to and
generally giving cheek to anyone if we could get away with it. We had bikes of
course, but the centre of attraction and the one vehicle that made us the envy
of most of our peers was ‘the battle wagon’. Some might just call the wagon
a cart, with two seats set one behind each other, large wheels at the rear,
small wheels at the front attached to the steering yolk and a sort of brake
consisting of a wooden handle with a rubber base (sounds good eh?). However to
us it was a tank, speedster, spaceship and anything else we wanted to imagine at
the time and it served that purpose magnificently.
To ride in the
wagon, was an art form just from the seating aspect since three into two only
works with difficulty and so comfort was minimal and so of course was safety.
The wagon was not stable with three kids wedged into it and so we went to
lengths to protect ourselves with helmets preserved from the last world war and,
if driving, the protection of a full size German army helmet (the Jerry helmet
as it was known). In full war kit, the wagon and its occupations were a fearful
site and a particularly unstoppable and dangerous weapon in its erratic course
down Prouds Lane. On one side was the road, on the other a large green metal
fence, in the middle was us trying desperately to keep the wagon on a straight
course and heaven help anyone coming the other way.
Imagine the scene…this contraption hurtling toward you with a obvious
lack of control and nowhere to go, three grinning moronic kids with army helmets
and, believe me this is Gospel truth, waving what looked like (and in fact were)
actual hand grenades. The number of adults we scared witless was legendary and
of course was bound to reach the ears of the local law.
After the
visit we had to cool things down and get rid of the grenades, the wagon had been
in many colourful crashes and began to look and feel the worse for wear, so we
had to turn to other things. We tried other things like smoking, living in some
old abandoned air raid shelters (at least until the food ran out and we got
cold!) and we even joined the cub scouts. Now that was an interesting
story and one I’ll tell another time.